junying<3. sweetSIXTEEN on 16 oct 09
Designer:Si Ying
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okay i'm back.
today i had the most frank conversation i've had in ... six months.
doesn't really show much of my jc life -____-"
i feel so fake to everybody...
i feel like blasting at everyone seriously.
but i just shut myself up.
i dun even talk about it to anyone la -___-"
and surprisingly i talked about it to someone i never expected.
which was good.
and bad.
but i needed to talk about it la...
so i GUESS its good.
it was actually really like what i would have told jiehui last year, or even jolene, yale, esther, or jinzaw.
but all of them have their own life la.
and they have to adapt to their circumstance just as i have to as well.
and they won't understand my situation... (even if they try to)
and unbelievably, i actually gave all my thoughts to this person
and i'm not even that close.
gosh. i can't believe i haven't had a frank "junying-HTH-talk" for half a year.
zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz.
everything is just "screwed up"
-cedar friends
-aj friends
-aj class
-jc curriculum
-interact club
-christian life
-love life
-family
if both of us were on our way to jurong east instead of me alighting at toa payoh,
i honestly think i would have poured out my entire troubles by then la -____-
but in 15 min, just having a listening ear was good(:
gosh. if this person is reading it, thank you so much, you really blessed my life today.
and on a happier/weirder note, sis meiping put me in charge of CH next week. LOL.
LIKE. okayyyyy. and i gave josiah my number (cos we're working together), but i forgot to ask for his -___-"
oh yea.
and now my bio tutor is tutoring my neighbour.
i was so freaked out when i saw him walking down my corridor....
cos i had just been thinking how he was now, since i was sorting out my rubbish and i saw a paper filled with his handwriting.
and the next thing i know, he was walking down the corridor -___-"
todays "class gathering" (or rather only 10 people turned up -___-")
was quite fun la.
kudos to melvin(:
vball is NOT BAD LA.....
(except for 2 blueblack on my right arm now-____-")
tmr is OG gathering (; yays!
Sometimes when I'm feeling down,
Making the skies feel so grey,
I sit here waiting for You to come.
Love and joy fill my heart.
Easy, You make it to smile.
You are the sunshine of my life,
For you turn darkness into light,
Allowing me to be myself.
Come before You, head held high.
Easy, You make it to smile.
Sometimes i wonder what lies ahead
How long til my hunger is fed
They say it's hard to make it in this part of town
so many people on this merry-go-round
Some folks try astrology
Some turn to crystal balls
To find an answer
To get through it all
I just fall on my knees and i try to pray
in the silence i can hear Him say
The river runs and the river hides
Out to the ocean and under the sky
I promise you, the answer will come
Hold on to patience and watch for the sign
Everything in its time
I often feel like that i'm two steps behind
Somebody must have moved that finish line
There are a thousand reasons
why i should give up
But i'm stubborn in the things i believe
The river runs and the river hides
Out to the ocean and under the sky
I promise you, the answer will come
Hold on to the patience and watch for the sign
'cause maybe there's another plan
One i still cant see
A little surprise, like your love in your life
Funny how time changes how we see
The river runs and the river hides
Out to the ocean and under the sky
I promise you, the answer will come
Hold on to the patience and watch for the sign
Everything in its time
Everything in its time
listening to this song, really pushed me to blog something...
i really really wanna thank God for putting me in AJ.
while my plan for myself to RJ seemed so smooth, so fun and interesting,
i realise how shortsighted i was.
would i really have been happy with a smooth life?
would i really want to have the branding of RAFFLES on me?
would i really think that i was better than the rest??
a good lesson on humility,
a new perception of friendship.
a trial of hope,
a step of faith.
an embracing of sadness,
an introduction to patience.
funny how time changes the way we see.
so true.
now, as i face yet another trial,
time to embrace the truth, to embrace my life and story,
who i am, what i wanna do, where i wanna go,
really to let go and let God,
for He is faithful to those faithful.
time to let his truth in me.
i know you will never know what i feel for you,
all i wanna do is look at you from afar.
but God has a plan for me,
while i wanna stay by your side,
i know i have to go on,
till He brings me to a place meant for me.
if it's next to you, i thank God.
if it's not next to you, i still thank God.
junying.
ooh. hello
long overdue resolutions for the year 2010:
GOALS FOR 2010:
- be part of the solution, not the problem
- TOLERATE everything. don't be impatient.
- to be in the world, but not of it; to be the best i can be for the world.
- put others first for EVERYTHING.
outcomes:
less selfish, more appreciative, more patient.
yup. the end.
very lazy to write more (:
junying(:
omg how can a person screw up this much in one night..????this morning i was so tired, but when my mum told me that the freaking dustbin melted,i literally jumped off the bed.checked my phone and realised i had 6 missed calls from the management office.i have a box of food in front of me and yknow i never skip meals, but i reallly really have no appetite.forced myself to eat half, and now the other half is staring at me.omg omg omg omg.HOW HOW HOW.....I HAVE CREATED A CONVERSATION STARTER FOR THE AUNTIES IN MY CONDO TO TALK ABOUT.I HAVE BECOME FAMOUS OVERNIGHT.WHAT THE BEEP!!!!):and to think i used to laugh at all those people who created topics.i've got my just desserts.die la.for sure it'll cost a bomb de.and i've got elearning to do, and i just can't concentrate.FML.):
i hate pw.i hate it!and i'm only doing the mini version of it somemoreimagine what will happen when it's the actual thing......i think i'll just pull my hair out):i have 4 word pages out, 5 windows explorer, and a microsoft ppt out.oh man.i miss the hols when i only had: youtube, fb, and msn out.and ytd, i was out for 15 hours.*faints*by 2030 i was alr feeling very giddyby 2230 i felt like puking.and the worst part is: i couldn't sleepi was freakin tired and i couldn sleepwhat an ironyfriday night too.tonight i pray i can sleep well man.and how on earth did i become phy challenge gl??wennbin is so smart la pls! he totally should have been gl!make me feel noob la that stupid xinyang.kite flying ytd was lame.but the seniors were nice!(:i can't believe kee wen the sicko can draw. LOL.oh yea and kee wen is so sweet to his gf! (tho he's not sweet to the rest of the girls-__-)he sewed a denim wallet for himself and his gf leh!handmade leh!so sweet right...????oh oh oh and i heard of another very sweet guy who made perfume for the girl he likes!!so SWEEETTT!! gosh. and the girl rejected him.and he was even sweeter cos he cried cos of that. lol.haiya, i must be very repulsive for no guy to do that for me la.):HAHAHAH.and i think maths lecture on friday was funny.the whole lecture.1. when mr lee intro-ed himself, my class cheered for him. cos he's our tutor ma(:2. when mr lee was explaining how each domain must have a unique image, he used the analogy of x being the gentlemen and y being the ladies. so he said 1 x cannot equal to 2 y. this is a playboy. and my class started chanting "don don don" cos as you know, don is the ultimate playboy. (everywhere he goes there are girls around him)3. there was the hongkong feet smell. and tingjun and i were like laughing at that. i was getting quite irritated. dunno whose disgusting feet. we suspect it's a j2's. LOL.anyway i'm very very very tired.physically, mentally and emotionally.i've been on roller coaster ride!):hai. back to pw and phy challenge-___-
talking to Jiehui today made me feel ALOT better.to know that someone is in the same plight as me,made me feel waaayyy more comforted.I MISS JIEHUI, YALE, JOLENE, JINZAW, LICHING, ZAHRAH, PHUONG, ESTHER LEE, ESTHER TAN, LIVIA, LAVANEIYA, CELESTE, ATHIRAH, LANXIN, SYAHIRAH, JOANNE, GAYA, QIANHUA, && 4H && CEDARBAND && SAXOPHONE SECTION && 4H TEACHERS && CEDAR ENVIRONMENT!!imissbeingabletosharestuffmaturelywithpeoplewhounderstandyousittinginacirclesmilingandencouragingyouon!today was super paiseh with bro jer too):and i also screwed up the offering bag procedures):iguessmyheartwasnotoneofservice):andmostofallimissyoubutwhyshouldyoucareanyway?